The Many Faces Of Commander Shepard
by Morrigan Raven
Summary: This is a collection of one-shot fics about the life of Commander Shepard (many Shepards) Many pairings. Set during different parts of the trilogy with no specific order. First we have a Shepard/Tali/Garrus love triangle. Set in ME3.


**The Many Faces Of Commander Shepard**

_By: Morrigan Raven_

Note: It's a Shepard/Tali/Garrus love triangle. Set in ME3; Shepard and Tali had been together until the time when Shepard went back to the Alliance for his trial and when they met again Shepard was so worried that they might not make it that he decided to focus on defeating the reapers, telling Tali that what they had was over. While Garrus thought that if his death was imminent now was the time to be with the girl he loved.

**1 - Sparks**

It was finally time to head back to Earth, the last battle awaited and Shepard, as usual, was making his rounds, checking on his crewmates, he had just checked on Liara and for a moment he was reminded of the timid and awkward girl she used to be. After his "death" she had changed so much that he almost didn't recognized her when they met on Illium, so bent on revenge over the Shadow Broker, she who once felt sorry for Saren and had wished he could be saved. "_Time does funny things to people"_ he supposed. Now Shepard wanted to talk to Garrus, maybe have a few drinks and talk of old times, he smiled at the thought, but the smile vanished from his face as the doors to the main battery, Garrus' hang out, opened to show him and Tali kissing.

**_Did I drive you away?_**

"Oh!" "We were just, uh…" both sounded so shocked and embarrassed to have been caught while Shepard was just speechless, his whole mind gone blank and his heart wrenched in his chest.

"I...well...just came to say goodbye, and...well..." "...think one of my mandibles got hooked on her helmet" Tali and Garrus both continued to shift awkwardly waiting for him to say something while he was trying to get control of his own emotions, he didn't' thought he would be able to speak without his voice breaking or sounding hurt.

"It might've caused a rupture, so I asked him to check..." "You know, because of infection risk. Didn't want to jeopardize the mission..." they continued trying to explain waiting for him to say something and Shepard figured that under different circumstances this would be funny.

"So..." "Yeah..." they were just stared at him now, and Shepard realized he had to say something now, and though he was not ready to talk yet he tried his best to sound honest "I'm really happy for you. Both of you" he really was happy for them, his best friend and the girl he loved, he could wish nothing but happiness for them, but his voice still came out a little hurt, or at least to his own ears he sounded hurt.

"Thanks, Shepard" he could tell Tali was staring at him, she knew him to well…or at least, she used to. So Shepard did his very best to look happy and smiled at her, while not looking directly to her eyes.

"Appreciate it. Guess it helps to have something to come back to" Garrus seemed to notice something off with him, or maybe he was just being paranoid, so Shepard tuned to look at Garrus, his best friend and he noticed how happy Garrus looked, and that was all Shepard needed to make his smile look more convincing. After all, he really was glad they were happy.

"What do you mean, "to come back to"? This is just a fling Vakarian. I'm just using you for your body" Tali's playful voice and those words brought pain to Shepard but he made a very valiant effort to chuckle.

"You're so mean...and I'm okay with that" Shepard realized Garrus had never sounded so happy. Shepard had heard them flirting but he seriously had never believed that it was more than that; he had thought that they were just joking around, now he realized how much Garrus cared about Tali. And she too sounded happy, happier than he had heard her in a while.

Shepard smiled again and jokingly said "Carry on" as he walked out of the room, he heard Garrus chuckle right before the door closed behind him, he hoped they truly believed him. He was happy for them, but he was also so very hurt. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he adopted his poker face and continued making his rounds.

**_***#***#***#***_**

After finishing his rounds Shepard entered his cabin and stood in front of the armory in his room, he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He hadn't wanted to think of a future, he was beginning to think he didn't have one. And if the mail he received from that reporter Diana Allers was any indication, others seemed to believe the same_. "Seriously who send an e-mail like that in a moment like this!? I really don't want to be thinking of my funeral right now!"_

Shepard knew the score; he almost didn't survive the battle against Sovereign, and he died when the Collector attack on the first Normandy, then there was the suicide mission through the Omega-4 Relay. He hadn't expected to survive that, but he did, and now the Reapers were finally here, and so much has been lost already because of them. So many worlds and lives lost. So many sacrifices had been made. And with that his thoughts went back to Tali.

**_My heart is yours,_**

**_It's you that I hold on to,_**

**_That's what I do,_**

**_"You've given up so much"_**Tali had said that to him when they talked right after she joined the Normandy, she had wanted to talk with him alone, away from the other admirals. **_"I didn't want you to do this alone. Unless you'd rather be alone. We've got the war…several, in fact. And if you are not interested…" _**when she said that Shepard had wanted nothing more that held her close to him and forget about everything else, he wished he was an ordinary man and she a civilian, that they could have an ordinary but very happy life and leave the universe saving for someone else. But that was impossible, for some reason he still couldn't believe nor understand everyone looked up to him. Everyone seemed to believe that if someone could defeat the Reapers it was him. Sacrifices had to be made, so he told her that they couldn't be together now.

Tali didn't know just how much he had given up for the war, like the chance to be with her; so focused was he on winning this goddamn war that he had to put on hold whatever they had and when they won, he hoped they could pick up where they left off, but life, it seems, waits for no one, she had move on. Maybe it was arrogance on his part, to think she would wait for him or maybe he didn't make himself clear that he wanted to wait until the war was over to resume their relationship. He loved her so much that when she was near, she was all he could think of and he needed to focus on the war, everything else had to wait. She had said that seventeen million lives where depending on her and someone seemed to put all the universe lives on his shoulders, all those lives had to come first, before his wants and needs.

Shepard sighed again and shook his head to clear his mind. As he started putting on his armor, he heard the door to his cabin open and he turned to look at Garrus walking in. "Hey, Garrus. Something you need?"

"Hey, Shepard. I just wanted to…ummm…are you alright" Garrus scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Shepard said meeting Garrus in the eye.

"Well…you know…about me and Tali, are you really okay with us? I mean you looked like…" Garrus didn't know if he should finish the sentence, he wasn't even sure of what he wanted to say so he waited for Shepard to fill in the blanks.

Shepard took a deep sigh and answered "I _will _be fine Garrus, really. I want her to be happy and you will make her happy…and you are my best friend and I want you to be happy too"

"Shepard if I had known that you still cared about her I would've never…I just thought that you and Liara…I remember how much Liara meant to you, how broken over you were after the whole Shadow Broker thing and since Mars I noticed her trying to get closer to you and there are times when she seems like the old Liara that I thought…I know lame excuse, but I thought that this maybe our last days so I had to tell her how I feel and when she didn't rejected me…" Garrus sighed deeply before finishing "…but I think she will always love you, Shepard, so if you want to be with her…tell her and I'll get out of the way"

Shepard took a moment to think before answering "I think you're wrong about that, she loves you now Garrus. And me saying anything now would probably do more harm than good. She is happy with you and that's all that matters so you better take good care her" Garrus chuckled at shook Shepard's hand before leaving. When the doors closed behind Garrus, Shepard sighed again and finished getting ready for what would hopefully be the last battle.

Zaeed had once told him that rage was a powerful fuel to stay alive and Shepard wished he could feel that but he was so tired, every time he closed his eyes he saw everyone who had been lost and he knew there were going to be many more. And now he had lost Tali too, but at least she was alive and he will make sure she stays that way. She will be happy with Garrus, he was sure of that. Shepard was going to win the war for Garrus and Tali. Rage won't be the fuel to keep them alive, his love for Tali will. He will win this war for her, so she can have a happy live with Garrus.

**_I promise you this,_**

**_I'll always look out for you,_**

**_That's what I'll do._**

**_***#***#***#***_**

Note: I actually never have done this in the game, but I do know that if your Shepard breaks up with either Tali or Garrus they get together, just as they would if your Shepard romanced anyone else in ME2. What I don't know, but seriously doubt, is if the conversations go any different. Anyway, hope you liked this short fic; don't know when I will be posting another one.

I used part of the lyrics to the song "Sparks by Coldplay" I kind of liked those lyrics in particular and so it happens that Sparks it's James nickname for Tali. And it started playing on my iPod when I started writing this fic, so there goes the title for this chapter.

So you know the kinds of other pairing I might write about:

Shepard (M) & Liara

Shepard (M) & Jack

Shepard (M) & Miranda

Shepard (F) & Garrus

Shepard (F) & Thane

Shepard (F) & James

Maybe one sided Shepard (F) & Kaidan or Shepard (M) & Ashley, they are the ones I like the least, they both annoy me so much, that if throwing them out the airlock was an option I would, then I would probably regret it. My favorite for Shepard (F) is Garrus and the one for Shepard (M) most of the times is Miranda, probably need to see Jack's again to be sure.

If it needs to be said, I obviously don't own Bioware, Mass Effect or the song.


End file.
